


Gone Fishin'

by Slave2MyFantasy



Category: Naruto
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Kisame lives, Minor Angst, Will I ever stop making dumb titles? sources say no, coming out of left field with this one y'all, gotta pet the SHARK, listen you're just gonna have to trust me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:40:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29943918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slave2MyFantasy/pseuds/Slave2MyFantasy
Summary: Hikari comes across a file of a very, very familiar face in a stack of Naruto's papers and goes to Lee to confess... She's got some shark skin in her past.
Relationships: Hoshigaki Kisame/Original Character(s), Rock Lee & Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 2





	Gone Fishin'

**Author's Note:**

> SURPRISE BITCH, IT'S HIKARI BUT WITH KISAME, oh how the turn tables... 
> 
> Uh, so this is canon in my timeline, I promise it fits, I'm not just making shit up as I go along. Kisame is my other favorite, I have the strangest taste in men but I don't even slightly care. I'm thinking I'm gonna split this one up into smaller chapters and post as I go, rather than all in one big chunk. 
> 
> I also cannot guarantee Kisame is all the way in character, making a sadistic shark man a love interest is a fine line to walk.
> 
> I find it VERY funny that all my faves are inexplicably linked-- Lee, Guy, Kisame, Killer Bee... who is Pepe Silvia?

"Lee? Baby?"

"Yes, my sweet flower?" Lee looks up from his one handed push ups to his wife, who was sitting atop their stump with a strange look on her face. He recognized that face.

"Oh no, are you about to throw up? Should I get—" he starts, but Hikari bursts into laughter.

"No, I'm not gonna puke. God, where'd you get that idea?" she giggles, waving a hand dismissively, before The Look comes back on her face.

"You... have a peculiar look on your face, my flower," he says, flipping back onto his feet and coming up to her. "Are you alright?"

"Mmn. I... uh, I made an interesting discovery in Naruto's office today," she mumbles, clearing her throat.

"Yes?" He leans on the stump beside her, and she hands him a paper with a name and a picture. He blinks and scans it, his thick eyebrows knitting in confusion.

"I do not understand, Hikari," he says, handing it back. "This is just the file from the man Guy-sensei fought."

"Mm. Yeah, uhm, about that." She taps the big red 'deceased' stamp underneath the image of the burly man with blue skin. "That? That right there? That's not... entirely true."

Lee's eyebrows arch in shock as he looks back and forth between his wife and the face of Kisame Hoshigaki.

"How is it not true? Guy-sensei saw him be eaten by his own sharks! He—"

"Yeah, I know the story," Hikari mumbles, looking increasingly uncomfortable. "But I didn't put the face and the name together until this morning."

Lee pauses to take in the information, and the look on his wife's face. He was recognizing what he once read as nausea as a combination of anxiety, sheepishness... was she blushing?

"Why... are you telling me this?" he asks.

"Well, you know how I, uhm, wasn't quite a virgin before we got married?" Hikari's eyes glaze over into a thousand yard stare, her face getting redder and redder.

"... What?" Lee blinks a few times, rapid fire. "Hikari, are you saying—"

"I fucked the shark, Lee," Hikari hisses, burying her face in her hands. "And I know for a fact that he's still alive because I healed him. I had no idea who he was! He was just—"

"Hikari, Hikari, darling, slow down." Lee turns and helps her off the stump, leading her over to a nearby log to sit down. "Start at the beginning."

Hikari takes a long, deep breath, before knitting her fingers together and setting them in her lap.

"It started when I found him. Well, his pieces."

\--

"What in the shitting FUCK," Hikari yelps, dropping the pot of dirty dishes she was holding. She'd come to the river to wash them, but the bloody pieces of human body floating down the current was a little more important.

She yanks off her apron and kicks off her geta, running out onto the water to gather them up. An arm, a leg... there was the torso.

"Poor guy," she mumbles, hoisting it up out of the water. "I should at least bury h—"

A hissing gasp of air bubbles from his wet lips, and she nearly drops him again in her surprise.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT, HE'S ALIVE. HE'S ALIVE, he's alive, oh my god. Where the FUCK is that other leg?!"

Hikari makes quick work of heaving him onto the bank.

"Right, left, right, left, torso, head. Okay." She kneels beside him, her eyes darting back and forth over the near corpse in her hands. He'd lost so, so much blood. It was amazing the guy hadn't died by now. He was fucking blue, he'd lost so much.

Healing definitely wasn't her specialty, not in the slightest. But jonin-level chef nin had to be highly trained in medical ninjutsu, especially for things like this. It was a good thing she had her needles on her, and her knife. And that her hands could act as literal cauterizing tools.

The task of reattaching the nerves, the vessels, pinning him together like a pincushion as she did quick and dirty work to keep him alive was hard enough in an operating room, but on a dirty riverbank? It was a miracle his heart was still beating. She needed blood. Keeping her own chakra circulating through him wasn't enough, and his heartbeat was slowing by the minute.

"Shit, shit, shit." She quickly summons a single shadow clone, who darts back towards her cabin for supplies. "Don't you fucking die on me, not after all this work," she hisses.

It takes hours of work, several shadow clones coming and going, and this guy's absolute powerhouse of a heart and ocean of chakra, but as the sun is settling, he starts to stabilize.

Hikari sits back, groaning loudly as she decides he's in the clear— breathing normal, pulse normal, chakra flowing regularly.

"You're a lucky bastard," she mumbles, panting and slicking back her hair with a filthy hand. "Strong, too... someone must have wanted you dead bad, and for good fucking reason. Who the hell lives through getting his arms and legs chopped off and tossed into a river to drown?"

For the first time in a few hours, she actually gets to look at the man she'd saved. She'd thought he was blue from cold and blood loss, but no, he just seemed... blue. And his face had... gills?

She runs a finger along them curiously— well, that at least answered how the fucker hadn't drowned. Lucky indeed.

He had a gnarly face, too. Kinda burly... scary, even. Definitely wasn't finding any ladies like that. Might be Hiro's type, though. He was into macho men like that. The Fourth Raikage came to mind. She can't help but smile at the thought.

They had that in common. Gnarly face, and absolutely ripped. This guy had to be at least 6'5" and just his torso weighed as much as Seiko.

"Alright big fella," she mumbles, having a shadow clone help hoist him onto a gurney a third brought. "Let's get you back to camp."

\--

Kisame is... confused, to say the least, when he feels warm sunlight on his face. This was not the black abyss he was expecting. He, of all people, shouldn't be basking in sunlight after his death.

He blinks a few times, eyes adjusting to the gentle spring light streaming in through a window above his bed.

A... window... above his... bed.

He wasn't dead.

That was impossible. His sharks would not have failed him. He felt their stinging teeth slicing into his body, saw the shocked faces of those leaf nin, of that octopus bastard as they consumed him alive, ripped him apart.

But here he was, alive.

Why?

"Holy shit, are you awake?!"

A voice startles him from his thoughts, and his head whips around towards the source— a plump, dark skinned woman with big, bushy, burgundy hair and incredibly bright gold eyes.

"No fucking way! I thought you'd be in a coma for—" she starts, coming fully into his room. Before she can take another step forward, he leaps up in a flash, hand closing around her fat neck. The band on her head was from Kumogakure. In his state of half-delirium, he recognized it as the village of the octopus bastard.

"Hrhk!" The woman's eyes bulge in surprise as he lifts her, and he grunts as he feels his arm twinge. The nerves inside shot electricity up his shoulder and down his fingertips— she was heavy, and he clearly hadn't recovered.

Before he can really register that something wasn't alright with his arm, her outstretched fingers jab directly up into the place that was screaming at him— an ugly seam along his upper bicep. At the same time, her foot comes down onto his thigh— right along another fresh incision scar. The combined agony of his arm and leg makes him drop her and stumble to one knee, and she immediately jumps back, holding her hands up defensively.

"Woah! Woah, big guy! I'm not gonna hurt ya! I spent all that time saving your scary blue ass, you think I'm gonna hurt ya?!"

Kisame grunts again, attempting to climb to his feet, but as his brain came back into focus, he found his whole body was screaming at him, not just his arm and leg. He was severely drained of chakra, his nerves were misfiring, and trying to support himself on any of his limbs made them feel like they were about to snap.

"Who.... who are you? Why am I not dead?!" he barks, before his arm and legs give out and he thumps noisily to the floor.

"Oh my god," the woman scoffs. "Calm down. You're gonna undo all my hard work. My name is Hikari, I'm a chef nin."

"A... chef nin?" he rasps, trying to pick himself back up.

"Yes, a chef nin. You know, from Kumogakure? You're in my cabin." She squats down next to him. "You should stop trying to move."

Kisame takes a long, long, agonizing moment on the floor to evaluate his situation.

The last thing he'd seen was the leaf nin, and he'd been in a wooden rack. Someone had been poking around in his brain for intel, and to keep it from getting out... the sharks. The water summoning. Then... darkness, and the sunlight from the window.

This was certainly not the position he had previously been in... and he didn't remember this woman in their group. If his sharks had escaped like he'd planned...

"... Why did you save me?" he croaks, eyes rolling up to hers.

"Uh?" The woman blinks those big, curious gold eyes. "Because you were floating in pieces in the fucking river. And saving people is my job."

Kisame groans softly, feeling his vision start to darken.

"... Do you know who I am?" he manages, and the woman frowns.

"Should I?"

And with that, he succumbs to the blackness.

\--

The next time the blue guy wakes up, he's noticeably calmer. Her neck can't help but be grateful— even with a fucked up arm, he had a hell of a grip. What a fucking monster.

She notices him sitting up that evening, after the sun had dipped over the horizon of the tall evergreens surrounding their camp.

"You good this time?" she calls from her place at the kitchen, chopping chives for dinner. She knew keeping her back to him was probably a bad idea, all things considered, but maybe he'd see her nonchalance as nonthreatening.

He doesn't answer, eyes slowly scanning the room. Hikari decides to keep talking.

"You're in my cabin. My chef-nin cabin," she clarifies. "And I have a knife, but it's for food. Because I'm a chef-nin."

More silence. She sets the knife down and turns to lean back against her butcher block. The man was still sitting up in the cot she'd set up for him, but was silently watching her.

Well, silent staring is better than choking.

"Not sure if you caught it the first time, but I'm Hikari," she laughs, wiping her hands on her apron. "You asked me if I knew who you were, but I don't. Wanna tell me your name?"

The sudden grit in his chiseled jaw gave her her answer, and she raises her hands dismissively. "Alright, no name. I've just been calling you big guy anyway."

The man considers her for a moment longer, before opening his mouth.

"How long?" is all he asks.

"A little less than three weeks," she glances at the calendar on her wall. "Unless I accidentally slept 36 hours I didn't know about. I'm the only one out here, so time is kinda hard to track."

"No one else?" His eyes return to scanning the cabin, locking onto the window near the front door.

"No one else. Well, there's this weird hippy type who comes by now and again, but he seems harmless. I haven't seen him in a month, though." Hikari grabs a handful of bean sprouts from a nearby basket and starts preparing them while she talks. "If you're worried about being found, damn near no one comes through here. It's one of the most secluded places in the land of lightning."

She glances up at him. "If you want whoever tossed you in that river to think you're dead, you've got nothing else to do but disappear."

He considers this for a moment, and she gives him the silence to breathe and think.

"You're going to let me go?"

"Yup. When you can get yourself up and out, that is." she gestures with her knife lazily. "There's no signs of life for a hundred miles in any direction. In your state, you'll die in under a day, and I don't want the literal days I spent tube feeding you and wiping your ass to go to waste."

The man swallows a laugh that he thinks she can't see, and she grins. So he did have a sense of humor.

"Are you going to report this to your superior?"

"Do I look like the type of person who does their job well?" Hikari laughs loudly. "Remember that hippy I was talking about? My boss has no idea he exists, and he follows me around like a stray fucking cat. Has for a couple years. There's no reason to report the people you feed and heal when you get so few of them, in my opinion."

"Will you stop me if I go?" he asks.

Hikari pauses to think about it.

"If you wanna die, it's no skin off my back, I guess," she sighs. "It'd be a waste, though. You were such a good conversation partner."

He snorts, followed by another long silence. Hikari sets her sprouts down.

"Look, big guy, if you wanna go, go. If you wanna stay, stay. And if you're worried about information about you getting out, then don't tell me anything about you, and I won't ask. Simple as that. The less I know, the better."

After another silence— shorter this time— the man lies back down in his cot.

"I'll have dinner ready in like an hour." She goes back to chopping up chives. "I'd offer you a drink, but you're in no state for it, so I'll be drinking for two."

\--

Through sauteed river prawns, wild greens, rice, and sake Hikari described as 'the good shit,' Kisame learns quite a few things.

First, that it was indeed late May. That Hikari was stationed in this particular cabin in the middle of nowhere for 6 months— she'd started in April, and would stay until October, which gave him plenty of time to recover and 'disappear.' That she left every Saturday to hike to the nearest resupply station a hundred miles away, and returned every Sunday. That Hikari swore like a sailor and drank as heavily as one.

And that she was hiding something.

He didn't think, though, that it was something pertaining to him. It was something she kept deep behind her eyes, something that was hurting her, something that the sake seemed to bring forward. She would stare off into the trees for minutes at a time, not talking, just drinking. A stark difference from the Hikari that wouldn't stop yammering all the while she was making dinner. The woman was an open book— it was a miracle she was a shinobi at all.

The food was good though.


End file.
